Saturday 14 January 2012

Things I think this week

India are shit.

As I write this, the Indian batsman are in the process of rewarding the fightback of their bowlers earlier in Day Two by capitulating once again to the Aussies.  I find it hard to believe the lack of fight the Indians have shown in tough situations SINCE the World Cup final (Gary Kirsten's last game as coach).  Its the same players who, at that point, were the best Test side in the world.  Gambhir, Sehwag, Dravid, Sachin, Laxman are as good a top five (on paper) as ANY team throughout history could command.  Yet, in these closing days on their careers (at least four of these boys MUST be looking towards the Test match exit sign), they seem to have decided that they can't be bothered scrapping for their team, their country, or even themselves.  Sehwag seems to be batting from memory (commentator speak for "doesn't have a clue"), Dravid has just discovered what it feels like to be castled, and is determined to enjoy the experience time and time again, Sachin looks like he is tempted to stay on 99 International hundreds so as to leave something for the young generation to shoot for, and Laxman seems to have swapped his batting boots for divers ones.  Very awful.

The bowlers, though they have shown some ticker today, are NOT blameless.  From the start of the 2011 English summer, the Indian attack have allowed Pietersen, Cook, Bell and Clarke to amass double (in Clarke's cases, a triple) centuries.  (VVS just guided to slip for a duck as I write this.  No feet.)  Not all of these innings were against Zaheer, but even when he has bowled he has looked about as threatening with the new cherry as me (right arm piddle).  The body language of the team is awful, and a lot of this stems from the captain.  When things are going well, Dhoni's captaincy style is called "relaxed".  When the enemy are at the gates, it is called "non existent".

When England were dismantling the Top Test Team in the world last summer, I was proud to win the four test series 4-0.  Watching them against the Aussies, I'm gutted we didn't beat them 5-0.

Tebow Time


The Denver Broncos visit the New England Patriots this weekend in the NFL Divisional Playoff round.  The Patriots are the only team to win three Superbowl's in the era of Free Agency and Parity.  They have Tom Brady, the greatest 6th round draft pick of all time at QB and former Superbowl MVP.  They have an effective offence and a head coach who has the ability to "take one thing away from an opponents offence".  They are at home.

Denver has Tim Tebow.

For those not familiar with the former Florida Gators QB, I shall summarise briefly.  Tim Tebow is God's personal representative in the NFL.  He is a deeply religious young man, with a charming (annoying) habit of clapping his hands together as if in prayer after he scores a Touchdown (this has become known as Tebowing).  He has an uncanny ability to perform impressive comebacks when all things seem lost.  This was never more evident than last week, when he threw 316 yards against The Pittsburgh Steelers, averaging 31.6 yards a completion.  The significance of these numbers? His favourite Bible passage is John 3:16.

From a footballing sense, this should be the Pats game.  But if the Almighty sticks his oar in....I'm reminded of the story of the great Yorkshire bowler Emmet Robinson, who once prior to a Roses game between Yorkshire and...the Champion County, bowed down to the Lord and thus intoned "Lord, you are the greatest umpire of them all.  Today, Yorkshire face Lancashire.  If it be your will that Yorkshire are the best side, they will win.  If it be your will that Lancashire are the best, they will win.  If you should decree that rain and bad light are needed, it will be a draw.  But Lord, if you could just keep your nose out of it for the next few days we'll knock bloody hell out of them."

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